It's hard. So hard. But i've got to face it no matter what and how. I have to tell and remind myself that he has a good readon why he takes quite a pretty long time to reply me. I have to. It's for my own good. And so that I won't be feeling pissed, humiliated or upset. But if I really really can't, that I guess I have to stop. I'm putting all my faith in him. All my faith. I don't and won't know if he's actually interested in texting and talking to me. Maybe he is. Maybe he's not. Only he himself knows. I don't. Despite all those negative thoughts I'm always having, I always make sure of myself that I don't go overboard; indirect him on twitter about why he isn't replying and etc. but sometimes I ended up feeling a sore loser when I expect for a reply from him and nope no outcome, no reply. Especially when i know he's online, but he doesn't reply me.
Why? Why do I even have a crush on him? Why?
People say even if he takes a long period of time to reply, he will still reply in the end.
But no. I have enough of this shit, of this waiting and waiting for his reply. You can never know how it feels when you wait for it but you know it's not gonna happen.
Each time others get to text theirs', I'm just there faking a smile on my face feeling rather disappointed in myself. Looking at others texting theirs' and here I am, nothing.
Everytime I get to text him, I'll try not to be pissed or whatsoever. Even if he gives me short replies, I'll calm myself down and keep texting him and not just rant about it. Cause I know I only get to text him once in awhile. I appreciate all those texts even if we texted for 10 mins. I really appreciate it.
You don't know how much you brightened up my day when you texted me that day. At 6:15am. I woke up to a text from you. We talked but it was only for 5 mins. even tho 5 mins, you replied me within seconds. Feeling so happy and it makes me feel very energetic to go to school on that day.
I don't get it when people starts complaining about those short and frustrating replies they received from theirs'. At least they replied you. If I receive short or frustrating replies from him I will definitely appreciate it cause at least I still get to text him.
Little things make you happy. Things that were done for short period of time can even brightened up your day.
When I said I miss those days when we first text, I really mean it. Cause those days are really sweet. Even those days when you just started working. I really appreciate at the fact that even when you're tired and just got home from work, you decided to text me and talked to me till 3/4am. You even stayed up with me to accompany me cause I was doing my homework alone. You even helped me with my school work. I really appreciate all those little things.
You can even make jokes with me when we don't really know each other. You really can get along well with me when we only met for one day. That day.
That day just really speaks about how cute you were. Eating the cupcake I gave it to you infront of me. How cute was that. And somemore you can even asked about my age. I know I'm just a spoiler, didn't even open my mouth on that day when you were with me. You were just right infront of me. I could've talk to you but my mouth decided not to open when you were there. How I wish I can meet you right now and talk to you in real life.
You really bring the best out of me; to appreciate little things as it may turn on to be the best out of all.
I know people may say I'm just making these thing into such a big deal. No, these really mean alot to me. It brings me happiness. Friends bring me happiness too but this also. I don't want to lose it. Can't afford to lose this.
I hope we will meet again and really hoping that my mouth will decided to open when you were around.
And again, I'm hoping for a reply from you.