There is a purpose in meeting people in life, some are there to test you, some will use you, some will teach you, and some will bring out the best in you.
My photo
Life is like a piano. White keys are happy moments & Black are sad moments. But remember both keys are played together to give sweet music.

Monday, 2 June 2014

Akhirnya kite dapat berbual dengan awak macam dulu lagi. Rasa rindu terus hilang bila dapat berbual. 

Kalau tidak, rindu selalu menggamit diri aku. 

Dulu, gambar kite berdua dijadikan sebagai pengubat rindu terhadap awak. 

Mungkin betul, jangan sesekali berkira untuk mengalahkan diri sendiri. 

Baru baru ini kite dapat berbual dengan awak. Walaupun dalam masa yang singkat, kite happy. Happy sebab dapat berbual dengan awak walaupun topic yang diperbualkan agak lame macam nak muntah darah kalau korang baca.

Tak sia sia kite beranikan diri untuk start bual dengan dia. Tapi kalau nak terus terang, memang rasa berat kalau disuruh untuk start dulu bak kata ongputih, take the first step. Biar lah aku terus terang kat sini. Aku selalu fikir panjang setiap kali nak start berbual dengan dia. Aku akan fikir macam mana nak start dan apa yang nak dibualkan nanti. Memang rasa negative menghantui aku tetapi aku selalu positifkan diri ini untuk mendapat hasil yang baik. Walaupun kadang kala rasa yang dia takkan reply or whatsoever, percayalah, kalau jodoh, takkan ke mana. To be honest lah kan, aku selalu risau kalau dia terasa diri aku ni agak annoying. Aku takut kalau dia menyampah dengan aku. Tapi entah lah.
Kalau aku suka kau, tak mungkin kau sua aku balik pun kan. So buat apa aku nak hebohkan yang aku ada crush dengan kau? Kalah hebohkan pun, macam lah amik kisah sangat. Kau sibuk dengan yang lain. Dengan dia dan dia. Aku ni siapa lah kan. 

Kalau aku kata aku rindu kau, kau rindu aku tak? Hm mesti tak sebab aku ni siapa je kan. 

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Aku tak boleh bohong dengan diri sendiri; aku rindu dia, amat sangat. 

Tak boleh dinafikan, aku memang nak balik masa-masa dahulu; terasa betapa bahagia diri ni.

Memang teringin nak mulakan perbualan satu hari nanti, tapi tiap kali memang hati ini rasa kurang yakin dengan diri sendiri. 

Takut tak dibalas. Takut difikir sebagai annoying. Takut macam syok sendiri bak peribahasa bertepuk sebelah tangan.

Kalau macam ini, tak apa lah. Aku mengalah dengan hal ini sekali lagi untuk tak wc dia. 

Mungkin satu hari nanti dia yang akan terasa rindu? In sha Allah.

Rindu.

Friday, 16 May 2014

Aku tak pasti kenapa, tapi aku mula merindu dia. 
Aku tahu aku tak sepatutnya rindu. 
Salah. 
Aku bukan sesiapa, hanya seorang kawan. 
Kawan yang baru aku kenal. 
Entah. 
Aku suka dia? 
Apa sebab aku suka dia? 
Apakah aku hanya tertarik semata-mata paras rupanya cantik dan elok? 
Mungkin. 
Kerana aku tidak begitu kenal dia, baru sahaja. 
Silap aku pun. 
Aku menaruh harapan yang tinggi pada dia dan sekarang harapan itu hancur. Aku tidak sepatutnya mengharapkan dia.
Patutkah aku mula berbual dengan dia? 
Atau tidak? 
Aku rindu.

Entah, aku bingung.

Saturday, 5 April 2014

It was perfect

That moment
It was perfect
It was beautiful

There are no more other words that I could use to describe how amazing how perfect it was
Being able to meet you was the best thing ever. It was just perfect.

That night you were there. You were the first person I saw and I got so nervous but excited at the same time. When you noticed my presence, we stared at each other in the eyes and exchanged smiles. It was perfect. Your smile is just the best thing ever. Sadly at that point of time when I just arrived, you had to leave. But then you were told to stay for a while. And I took the courage to step up to you and gave your gift. It was really frightening. Your smile made me feel even more nervous. When I passed it to you, you had that pretty cute expression on your face and you said "me? for me?" I was really at the highest point of my shyness and I could only smile and nod to you. You were so pleasant. From that expression on your face, I could tell that you weren't expected it totally. I left you alone and didn't managed to ask you personally to get a picture with you. My cousin did. And you were shy aww. When you came near and stood next to me, it was perfect. And then you whispered, "you're actually quite short" the moment was just so perfect that I could only managed to give you a smile. One of your friend saw us taking a picture together and she made the situation more awkward. She said, "awww cheyy cheyy" It was very embarrassing I can't even-
And then you had to leave and so you did. It was at nine. I was still outside and came home at eleven. Received few notifications from you; at nine & at ten
You thanked me quite a number of times and told me that you didn't expect me to buy you a gift. You thanked me even after you alr did. You were super cute. Really cute. You said you were shy. You told me you were happy with the gifts I gave you and like the SnapBack I bought for you. Other than that, I made you a cake jar cause I know you love cake jar so much. And it's really cute that you actually told me you're not gonna finish it in a day but you're gonna eat it bit by bit each day. I was so touched. We texted until 3am that night. It was perfect. You were so happy. It was perfect. 


The next day, you wore the SnapBack. I went to this place where there was this event that was held which he joined. I got to meet you again. It was so crowded and the first person that caught my eyes when I arrived; it's you. I knew you saw me & you knew I saw you but both of us pretended we didn't see each other. I walked around and the came to his booth. I was so touched that he actually wore it. I admired your pretty cute face and you actually smiled at me. I died cause it was perfect. All your other friends looked at me and I was feeling rather uneasy. We bought shirts and took a pic tgt.


When I reached home, I texted you; asking why everyone was looking st me. 
You said "oh they were looking at you cause they wanna see the girl that gave me the SnapBack. They know you gave it to me. And they were like ooooo amirul oooo waahhh" I died. 
 
It was perfect really perfect.

Saturday, 8 February 2014

It's hard. So hard. But i've got to face it no matter what and how. I have to tell and remind myself that he has a good readon why he takes quite a pretty long time to reply me. I have to. It's for my own good. And so that I won't be feeling pissed, humiliated or upset. But if I really really can't, that I guess I have to stop. I'm putting all my faith in him. All my faith. I don't and won't know if he's actually interested in texting and talking to me. Maybe he is. Maybe he's not. Only he himself knows. I don't. Despite all those negative thoughts I'm always having, I always make sure of myself that I don't go overboard; indirect him on twitter about why he isn't replying and etc. but sometimes I ended up feeling a sore loser when I expect for a reply from him and nope no outcome, no reply. Especially when i know he's online, but he doesn't reply me. 

Why? Why do I even have a crush on him? Why? 

People say even if he takes a long period of time to reply, he will still reply in the end. 

But no. I have enough of this shit, of this waiting and waiting for his reply. You can never know how it feels when you wait for it but you know it's not gonna happen. 

Each time others get to text theirs', I'm just there faking a smile on my face feeling rather disappointed in myself. Looking at others texting theirs' and here I am, nothing. 

Everytime I get to text him, I'll try not to be pissed or whatsoever. Even if he gives me short replies, I'll calm myself down and keep texting him and not just rant about it. Cause I know I only get to text him once in awhile. I appreciate all those texts even if we texted for 10 mins. I really appreciate it.

You don't know how much you brightened up my day when you texted me that day. At 6:15am. I woke up to a text from you. We talked but it was only for 5 mins. even tho 5 mins, you replied me within seconds. Feeling so happy and it makes me feel very energetic to go to school on that day. 

I don't get it when people starts complaining about those short and frustrating replies they received from theirs'. At least they replied you. If I receive short or frustrating replies from him I will definitely appreciate it cause at least I still get to text him. 

Little things make you happy. Things that were done for short period of time can even brightened up your day. 

When I said I miss those days when we first text, I really mean it. Cause those days are really sweet. Even those days when you just started working. I really appreciate at the fact that even when you're tired and just got home from work, you decided to text me and talked to me till 3/4am. You even stayed up with me to accompany me cause I was doing my homework alone. You even helped me with my school work. I really appreciate all those little things. 

You can even make jokes with me when we don't really know each other. You really can get along well with me when we only met for one day. That day.

That day just really speaks about how cute you were. Eating the cupcake I gave it to you infront of me. How cute was that. And somemore you can even asked about my age. I know I'm just a spoiler, didn't even open my mouth on that day when you were with me. You were just right infront of me. I could've talk to you but my mouth decided not to open when you were there. How I wish I can meet you right now and talk to you in real life.

You really bring the best out of me; to appreciate little things as it may turn on to be the best out of all.

I know people may say I'm just making these thing into such a big deal. No, these really mean alot to me. It brings me happiness. Friends bring me happiness too but this also. I don't want to lose it. Can't afford to lose this.

I hope we will meet again and really hoping that my mouth will decided to open when you were around.  

And again, I'm hoping for a reply from you.