Saturday, 7 December 2013
Thursday, 5 December 2013
After messing and screwing things up, i feel that i'm useless and not supposed to exist in this world. Negative feelings and thoughts keep taking control over me. It seems like it's my job to be there to screw things up and leave when everything is done. That feeling when you know you're really feeling that way but then you're just confused over that another feeling. Yes that made me screwed things up and now our friendship is like one with someone who's once her enemy and she doesn't know if that someone has alr gotten over the past or not. Yes, I'm facing it right now.
-not gonna talk about it
It feels totally great when you finally realised real stuffs like one example, your feelings. It's been five months and things are not progressing at all. It's getting worse I guess? Drifted apart. Not texting each other. Oh what's new. There's smtg new I guess, that girl.
Sometimes I just want to say this straight in your face, but then again you're not mine.
"Go ahead with her, go. Just forget about me, forget about everything we had. Since you care so much about her, instead of me. And most probably you love her much more than you love me. Thank you for making me once the happiest girl in the world who would and still talks about you every single day."
But oh well, it's not gonna happen.